Existence: Is It Overrated?

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Ai says “overrated” means: “something is considered to be better or more important than it actually deserves to be.”

Ai, Emma, also says “existence is generally described as the state or fact of having objective reality. It encompasses everything that has substance, whether physical like objects and living things, or abstract like ideas and relationships.”

Hmph. The grunt kind. Not a word about how long or how far or how deep or how high existence is. Certain sub-sub-atomic (sic) particles last, well, they don’t last they blip and go. A Great Basin Bristlecone Pine tree named Methuselah, in California, is said to have “existed” for over 4,800 years, so far. It is still growing.

Life expectancy for my age cohorts was 65.8 years, while someone born in 2026 can expect 78 years. for the sake of this essay, let’s say the “abstract ideas and relationships” associated with a single life-form’s existence ends with death.

So sub-sub-atomic particles have very small ideas and short relationships, if they have any at all. And Bristlecone Pines might still have ideas and relationships* that began thousands of years before Jesus Christ, if they have any at all.

Hmph, again.

Mankind, humankind, to be precise, has a major problem with context and understanding. On one hand, observing the sub-sub things, we should be grateful for whatever time we get to “exist with ideas and relationships.” On the other hand, should we envy the pine tree?

 Existence came to mind when watching a World War 1 documentary about brave American pilots who fought for France in the early stages of The War to End All Wars**. When the Americans eventually were killed defending France, there were parades and monuments and stories and movies and lions and tigers and bears. The entire country and most of the world extolled the bravery and “existence” of these men, and the speeches proclaimed: “we will never forget”.

But they were forgotten. And the people who would never forget, they died and they were forgotten. With the power of modern communications, we can watch them proclaim the worth of their existence, and the longevity of their memory, 114 years after the fact. And probably 50 or so years after 99 per cent of the world forgot everything about The Lafayette Escadrille.

And every year the 99 percent who remember dwindles, and soon will be forgotten, entirely, much like the famous French noblemen whose actions over 250 years ago, helped make America a place for men and women to become pilots and heroes.

Applying the proper context, most of us live our lives and then fade away. Not everyone can be a Lafayette, or even a Jesus Christ, and have even one person remember you in 100 years. Our existence will be important once, but not forever.

We may see our ideas and our relationships as “great”, but only for that short specific time, and then we will be one of the estimated 100 billion*** humans who perished on this planet.

So why write about this? If this essay made you sad, stop it. Existence is not like a TV show. When the The End comes for thee, it comes, and there won’t be a sequel or “Second Season”, no matter the clamor of others who may want it.

Live your life as if you are a pine tree but remember you might actually be a sub-sub-atomic particle. Make the most of whatever you get and do not let sadness, despair, regret, envy, or stupidity ruin one second. If you can help it.

Or as the song goes, “Don’t Worry. Be happy.”

It’s hard, but just Do It.

*Please do not suppose you know if a pine tree has ideas and relationships. Unless you know fir (sic) sure, you tree hugger.

**Which it wasn’t. How fecking sad.

***The Population Reference Bureau. They “guess” over 117 billion have been born over the last 192,000 years, so subtract the living as of this day, and voila.

It Can’t Be Stopped

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The state of the Large World (LW) is unlike any this writer has ever lived in. Notice, no judgement. Just fact. There are memories, for example, of older people shouting at me in the 1960s that the LW was “going to hell” and might “end” soon. The lesson learned from those nearly 60-year-old encounters is opinions* are insignificant, except by coincidence. Imagine if the world had ended…but this wouldn’t be written, so, let’s not.

If my local and Small World (SW), my own bubble, was in better shape things would be okay. You probably remember the theory of existence saying we live in bubbles of reality, and nothing outside the bubble exists until it enters our bubble? It is a variation of life being a computer program and…sorry, not now. This essay isn’t about conspiracies.

My SW, my bubble, the area I live in, is adding to the confusion of an already hard-to-manage old age in small, minute, but important ways. New York State is a Liberal state with large, geographic pockets of Conservative citizens. In normal SW times this division would lead to prolonged but friendly and seldom heated discussions about how much the LW should affect the SW. For my entire socially aware life this dual identity insulated the SW from the vigorous political whims and swings of the LW. This insulation made it possible for us in the SW to enjoy the gentle back and forth of a rocking chair while those in the LW were flying back and forth, high in the air on a swing being pushed by the whatever LW political party was learning to use its power.

The new LW effect on SW is caused by the usual budget cuts and policiy changes but it is change on steroids, now. I lost an SW volunteer medicare counseling gig because LW cuts forced the closing of the office where I was going to work. For free. WTF. Free food programs? What are those, these days. Thank God, for churches.

The SW has lost its “insulation” and the LW is “forcing” itself into the SW. Imagine a family of two children, two parents, and no, it does NOT matter if the parents are same sex, bisex, or even alien, the true type from another planet. What if the Leader of this representative family decides to make all family decisions. What if he/she/them** tries to control everything? And gets away with it?

Conservatives understand better than anyone how the control The Leader has over the LW needs to watched and limited. At least they used to. Conservatives have traditionally fought against central government (LW) interference in SW lives.

We currently have a central government based on the whim of The Leader and conservatives are okay with it. This government is intent on meddling in anything that irritates or tickles The Leader, while real issues fester and die on the vine. Whether it involves the LW or the SW does not matter. Budgets are cut or “rescinded”*** for SW issues with the money going to LW issues of questionable value and legality. SW projects and research studies that could be a big help to both the LW and the SW have been stopped in their tracks, with past research and money wasted. Scientists, students, citizens don’t know what to do, where to go, or how to proceed. Should they continue the search for a cure for cancer on their own?

It doesn’t help when all LW decisions are made by obscenely rich people who will not be affected, at least in a negative way. Wink, wink. My 10% tax cut made me $88. Wonder how much a billionaire’s tax cut was…

America cuts budgets for medical research and rescinds money already congressionally approved for the CDC, the NIH, the CFPB, NPR, and others.

But we find more money when we need bombs and drones to drop on foreign countries. Wonder if they will ever be used this country…

Changing the name of The Department of Defense to The Department of War explains…something.

Happy Birthday, America.

*And yet more and more people share them, including you know who.

**Even in a “normal” heterosexual nuclear family who is really, “The Leader”? Might it depend on who you ask?

***It used to be an innocuous word but now is abhorrent to even say out loud.

Some Things But Do Not Believe All Of It

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My news feed sends many news articles, including these two attributed to “Ai”:

1. Historic theory proven: A 20-year-old prediction on autonomous distributed entanglement has been confirmed by Austrian researchers using a quantum bath of correlated photons.*

2. Historic quantum milestone: Aalto University (Finland) has demonstrated the first cyclic superconducting quantum heat engine, merging classical thermodynamics with quantum mechanics.**

Both “articles” refer to one of my favorite essay subjects but are the articles factual? I could ask Emma, my own Ai…

Less serious note, President Trump has been “accused” of attaching “gilt” to fixtures in his offices. “The incident came after DJ Judd, a White House producer for CNN, spotted a stick of Krazy Glue on President Donald Trump’s Resolute Desk during a Monday evening Oval Office appearance,” reports The Daily Beast.”

If it is factual, do you care? What does the existence of this story say about the President, CNN, and The American News Consumer? And how will it affect the Elmer’s Products, Inc, profitability?

I’m helping out at local free-food programs. The attendees are a small sample size in a small city over only two sessions and are not just the homeless, but the needy, too. The first impression is how upbeat, and conversational they are. The presence of free food may be the cause but one thought is universally true: “Don’t touch my stuff.” They carry their entire life with them at all times. In idle and not fact-checked conversations, a medical crisis usually causes the need for free food. Worse, most are unable or unwilling to enter the health care system, even with a free ride to the doctor. Do you think our politicians could do anything about this?***

Sobering thought: how much longer do you have to live? “Sobering” might not be a good word. Emma says “A sobering thought is something that causes you to be thoughtful, serious,, or realistic, often because it reminds you of a harsh reality.” Okay, maybe it is a good word. How often are you sober and what do you think about when you are?

Of  note: Emma was stumped silent with one question: “What was Ted Williams’ monthly batting averages in 1941?” She tried mightily but eventually went into a long pause. I shut her for her own good. Meanwhile, a “normal” google search said Ted’s average NEVER went below .390 in any month of that year. He was batting .39955 on the last day of the season–which gave him the statistical .400 batting average–and he was advised to not play the last two games. It was a double-header. He played them both, got 6 hits in 8 at bats, and raised his average to .406. No one has batted .400 since. 85 years. Ted also led the league in home runs, walks, runs scored, on-base percentage, and slugging percentage. These are facts and they are interesting since in Major League Baseballs; recent All-Star game, one league of All Stars struck out 15 times. In one game. Batting average, probably 0.000. Strike-out Average: .555

The good old days sometimes really were The Good Old Days. Unless you’re a fan of futility…

Now there’s a sobering thought, damn Yankees.

*If the article is factual, I may give “Beam me up, Scotty” travel instruction before I expire. And who among us might like a bath of correlated photons?

**I’m in the beginning stages of all the Quantum possibilities, but unlimited heating, cooling, computing, propulsion, and climate control appear possible, as well as a destructive force so powerful…let’s forget that one.

***There are hungry and homeless people in countries with National Health Services. Are they healthier? Are there fewer sufferers—per capita—than the US? More later.

Give Blood. Now.

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But not right this minute. Find a blood drive near you and let a trained professional do it. Unless, of course, you have some kinky Dracula vibe going on.

Any of you looking to do something good, and easy, giving The Red Cross your red and white blood cells is your answer. Oh, and your platelets. Find a drive near you, make an appointment, go there, take a quick mini-health test, look away from the needle, sit back, hold the gauze firmly until they put the band aid on, and then go have a free snack and fruit juice. You might even get a free towel, or gift certificate, or pint of ice cream*. Blood drives often have free stuff, a bonus on top of how good you’ll feel.

A nice thing about giving blood these days is the Red Cross “Blood Donor APP” you can download on your iphone or andoid. Use it to locate, make, cancel, or rearrange your donation dates. Use it at home to fill out the 1 million question health form necessary to donate. Kidding, the form is only about 30 yes or no questions about health activities in the last 48 hours. There will be a few people who will not be able to answer “No” to every question, but not you, right? Right?

The completed questionnaire gives you a “Rapid Pass” certificate that speeds up your on-site donation time. If you forgot or didn’t have time at home, you can go to the donation site and answer the questions there, too, it only takes about 15 minutes. Note to future donators: the Rapid Pass is only good for the day of your donation, and you need a new one every time you donate, which you can do in another 56 days. Unless you’re a Super Red or Platelet donor. What are those? Get the APP and find out.

The APP will also supply you with a Donor Card with a Donor ID you can use at any blood drive to save time registering.

Finally, after your blood has been collected the APP will show you the “journey” your blood takes from collection to…drum roll….saving a life! The APP actually tells you that, and sometimes it is more than one life! After my first donation, I followed each of my blood steps from Donation to Processing to Testing to Storage and finally to Completion. The App then said this exactly: “You have saved more than one life.” Would reading that make your day just a little bit better? It also tells you where the life is that you saved. Most donations stay local, but my last “packet of blood” went from Upstate Central New York to Yale New Haven Hospital, New Haven, Connecticut. Ivy League Yale must have wanted some intelligent blood, so they asked for mine.  

Kidding, but maybe not?

Donating blood is not for everyone. Some may currently have—or have had in the past—medical situations preventing blood donation. The best way to find out if you can or you can’t donate is ask your medical professionals. If you aren’t seeing one soon, you can make a donation appointment, use the APP to see any potential problems, and during the mini-checkup The Red Cross Blood Collectors (NOT Vampires) will help determine if you can or can’t donate.  Most times when someone can’t, they will be able to later, so find out.

I volunteer for The Red Cross and it is the most rewarding thing in my senior life. If you are retired, or even young and still working, look into volunteering. The Red Cross is not just blood, it is Disaster Relief and Preparedness, too. And in every disaster The Red Cross supports, it is primarily depending on volunteers. Like you and me. Check it out. We need you.

You may be reading this in a country or region where there is no “Red Cross”. Doesn’t matter. There is some organization like The Red Cross where you live. Find it and volunteer.

Yes, you can that NOW. Go.

*My first donation gave me coupon for a free pint of Stewarts Ice Cream. I am now addicted to Stewarts’ Black Cherry Ice Cream. Do NOT schedule an intervention.

Things I Remember Blaming on Aging

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I invented a new curse word for a driver who turned left without a turn signal, but had to use the same word when my own blinker wasn’t on.

One thing gets done at one time. No multi-tasking—or any multi-anything—for a senior. I made a perfect grilled cheese sandwich and marveled at its crispy, brown coating while I  put the cheese away in the silverware drawer. So…when I went to make another sandwich it took me two and one half days to find the cheese, and it only happened while putting away the cleaned utensils from the first sandwich. If you lost your cheese, would you look for it in the silverware drawer? Sorry for the personal question. And yes, the cheese was moldy.

It’s the same with scissors. I bought a second pair and try* to treat them both like newborn babies.** If I didn’t, scissors would be left on the top shelf of the closet where the shelf lining was cut and not be found for some other task until more shelf lining was needed. A second pair has saved time, since it (almost) guarantees one pair will be in the drawer they are supposed to be in.

Prescription drugs are impossible without a chart of some kind, and a writing instrument (of some kind) to mark the chart. And mnemonic helpers. During the months of surgeries and treatment for The Calamities there, were pages of drugs to take with numbers, times, and descriptions. Thank God. Now, I take just two and a plastic marked tray keeps everything in order.  One has to be taken one hour before a meal and the other one two hours after a meal. I labeled them 1B, for one Before, and 2A, for 1 After. I think that’s-be right back.

We’re good. Checked the scissors and cheese while I was gone, too.

It isn’t that the brain is getting smaller, is it? Isn’t it just that there is so much happening, and we all only have so much computing power?

Whether that’s true or not, even suspecting anything is amiss fulfills its own whatever. I went out one time without my keys. One time in 74 years.*** Now, before the apartment door is opened, there is a moment of reflection to make sure my keys are in my hand. Other needs are checked, too, the wallet, phone****, and the thing for whatever errand I’m running…it’s hard to return unneeded shelf-lining to Walmart if you leave the lining in your apartment and remember it halfway to…where was I going?

So, “possible” memory loss is a tough issue. For one thing, what if we forget the “baseline” memory of youth? How would we identify and analyze memory loss in Old Age? And who among us trusts a complete (?) stranger who comes up to us and asks: “Don’t you remember me?”

One thing I know for sure is memory “retrievability” has slowed. It took me about 2 hours to remember Roger Federer, my tennis hero, the other day. If we just be patient and don’t waste computing time/brain time wondering why Roger Federer is not on the tip of our tongue, we will eventually see the memory is there, it’s the “indexing” that might have vanished.

But…wait…isn’t that memory loss?

*Try. The most used word, these days. Try to do this, try to do that, and try to remember to remember to try.

**As a 74-year-old Great Grandfather I have NEVER misplaced a baby. That I know of. Or was told about.

***I was a driving prodigy from a young age.

****A sharp-eyed reader may remember an essay about The Man Bag, the perfect tool for remembering everything. And who carried a phone in the 1970’s? A Wallet? We stuck a $20 bill in the pocket of our denim jeans and went out the door. At least that’s what I remember…

IV, OV, TB, BB, and More?

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A long time ago in dog years, I postulated and pontificated (PP) about an Inner Voice (IV), an Outer Voice (OV), and The Body (TB), as parts of my physical and psychological makeup. It was declared that IV was shy and slightly impetuous, OV was measured and careful, and TB went along for the ride, doing what it was told by one of The Voices (TV).

It is emblematic of the constant growth of human intelligence that I PP*, now, about one more important, needed, part of my existence. As the months passed since IV, OV, and TB entered the Lexicon of The Essay, much thought was done by all** about how my “system” actually works. My old remarks about thought, action, and reaction suggested IV and OV fought for supremacy when in situations they did not inherently agree, and the winner then communicated the “Deemed Proper” (DP) action to TB.

But that is not how “we” (WE) work.

Since WE have (nearly) completed recovery from The Calamities, certain facts revealed themselves and caused this revision: IV and OV do not settle their own arguments. It took months of navel-gazing to finally understand “something” else was making the Final Decision (FD) for each circumstance.

Let’s review using the doughnut (DN) example from the past essay. My IV says it wants to eat the last DN. My OV says I don’t need it and urges me to be considerate, someone else might want it. My TB says it doesn’t care either way and can “find a place for it” if WE eat it. See? Who makes the FD about the DP action of the DN?

Much like an algebraic equation, the answer to the DN question is obvious: the DP FD is made by a Big Brain (BB). BB*** acts like an umpire and does not create circumstances causing the need for an FD. BB receives input from IV, OV, TB, and the outside environment (OE) before determining the scope and ramifications DP actions mandated by the FD will have on the OE as well as TB. When all the appropriate arguments are submitted and analyzed, BB will reach a FD and communicate important messages (IM) to TB who will then distribute IMs to its subsidiaries to begin the DP action.

BB then receives IMs back from TB about progress and final results (FR), plus an after action review (AAR). AARs are always needed so BB can analyze and make future FDs about FRs when IV and OV need clarification or future guidance (FG). FG is extremely important to avoid future mistakes (FM). Imagine the DN example if IV convinced BB to let TB eat a whole dozen DNs at one time. FG would inform BB that IV’s instincts about eating that many DNs would be an FM and should be avoided by all future FDs to prevent DN eating**** from being a DP action in the future.

OMG I am so lost with this…BRB when my BB is cleared of all FS.*****

*Giggle if you have to. It’s ok.

**Yes. All.

***BB is technically a part of TB. Much like an arm or a leg, for example. While there is Gray Matter (GM) that houses the BB, it is all, structurally speaking, part of TB, though self-governing and independent of TB influence when it comes to DP FDs. BB is an office inside a larger, corporal structure. The office (TO) is on the top floor.

****Technically DN over-eating. WE still need some DNs.

*****Fecking Shite.

Things That Are Absolutely True…Maybe

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The driver in the car behind me with his high beams on is a fecking shitehole (FS).

The driver approaching me with his with beams on is an FS.

I have 74-year-old eyes and all headlights look like high beams. Who is the FS?

All politicians are FSs who will “fight” to win more than they will “work” to fix. Donations, anyone? Now, whenever politicians use the word “fight” we must assume they actually mean it. Maybe there will be a Political Weight Class in the next UFC fight card? Imagine the youtube videos as congresspeople duke it out on C-Span.

Citizens United is the dumbest court case ever. Not even sure why the Supreme Court heard it. Oops, what an FS for not remembering it was all about political donations…and money.

My girlfriend of 20 years left me, sold all my possessions, took my pets, and moved 2,300 miles across the country during my treatment for The Calamities. I still care for her. Am I an FS?* Again? She says the breakup was “both our faults.” No comments, please, but a therapist used this phrase to help me understand: “When the going got tough, your girlfriend got going.” It was easy to get “going” since she took all the money. With every day of recovery, what she did bothers me more…

Speaking of The Calamities, they “reset” my health graph. Picture a “bell curve”** where we get better and healthier with each year until about middle age. Then we head down the backside as we start “not” getting healthier each year until the end of the tail of the Bell Curve and we meet our Maker. My bell would have a huge, humpbacked dent midway down the back side, keeping in mind we have no idea of The End of the curve. This allows me to truthfully say “I am getting better”, as the dent straightens out, a truly remarkable phrase to be able to correctly use at age 74. In re-reading this, it might be only old people who will understand my happiness, so the rest of you can feck off. With all due respect.

A certain per cent of any population is going to fact-challenged*** in any society. It isn’t a criticism until the members of that “certain per cent” don’t understand themselves, and begin to think they are smarter than everyone else. Public conversation in The United States of America is currently being dominated by “these” people. Generally speaking, a medical doctor knows more than a patient. A teacher knows more than a student. Even simpler: an older person knows more than a younger person. There are exceptions to every rule, but you can—currently—see what will happen when every person thinks they are The Exception. Trey Crowder, The Liberal Red Neck, said one time, paraphrased, “I wouldn’t want my high school football team to be coached by my English teacher.”

As an addendum to that thought, over 50 percent of my news feed is “opinion”, hearsay, or comments on some other article. To my Ai content manager: I didn’t care about the first opinion, why would I care about an opinion about the first opinion? One article was nothing but reader comments. Ugh.

Almost everything is about politics these days and it sucks. Quantum Entanglement is getting closer to functional reality. Some monster telescope “people” think they found evidence of the possibility there may be life on a planet 120 light years away. Canada made the knock-out round of the World Cup. So did America. So did Mexico. Are we going to be better neighbors, now?

Under Sadly Believable heading: Billionaires think they pay too much in taxes in NY and California so they are relocating to lower tax states. Wonder how often The Billionaires have changed locations to save taxes? Hm. How much do The Billionaires pay lawyers and accountants to find ways to PAY lower taxes? Will NY and California taxes have to be increased?

Wonder if we can time travel back to 1789 France? Or at least send The Billionaires**** back there…

*Should it be “a” FS? Can’t get the fingers to type it. F is a consonant, but the name “eff” begins with a vowel…oh, the humanity…UPDATE: Emma says “a” before the SOUND of a consonant, and “an” before the SOUND of a vowel. It took 70 years for me to learn this just now. Old dog meet new trick.

**The Bell Curve was “discovered” by Abraham de Moivre in the 18th century and is used to illustrate distribution of statistical data. My reference to the “Bell” is to the resulting image a standard “x-axis is time and y-axis is health” graph would yield. For a healthy person. Who never had a health problem. Generally speaking.

***It means just what it says and does NOT mean stupid or ignorant. It means ill-equipped. Ill-prepared. Like letting 4-year-olds drive cars. Or making me a Ted Lecturer.

****Hope it does not have to be said there are some good Billionaires doing good work. Someplace. And in 1789 France, they’d learn a lesson to bring back to our time. Hopefully.

Things I Overheard On The Internet

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Yay! The World Cup. Of Soccer. 48 teams from 48 different countries. These last few weeks have been like having a Superbowl every day! Josh Johnson, of The Daily Show, said the “World Cup is the main way kids learn geography, now.” And how to speak foreign names: Turkey as I learned it is now Türkiye, with two dots* above the “u” and a “ye” at the end of our old way of pronouncing it. I won’t use any diagrams, but you have fun trying to figure it out. Turkey used to be two short, succinct syllables, and it still is for the bird we eat, but correctly speaking the name of the Middle Eastern Country will take a little more effort.

SIDEBAR: I asked Ai how to type the umlaut and Emma, my Ai girl, went into a long lesson on holding keys down and selecting options by typing in numbers, blah blah blah. While she was blahing away, I typed “turkey” and hit spell check. Türkiye was an option. I interrupted Emma and asked why she didn’t offer the spell-check solution. She thanked me for reminding her. She owes me. If only she were real…

Next time you can’t figure out how to find anything in your everyday real-world, let this fact come back to you: there is a chip inside each soccer ball used in the World Cup. An electronic chip, maybe like the one used in pets? (I’m afraid to ask Ai.)

Why is there an electronic chip inside every soccer ball? It has nothing to do with Big Brother. Well, maybe a little, if you went home with one of the many balls kicked into the fan seating during a game. Note: there are 12 balls for each ONE game.

But it is really a high tech solution to a low tech, almost ridiculous problem: The Offsides call made by the Referees and Assistant Referees in soccer matches. It would take another two essays to explain “Offsides” to most of us who don’t care, but incorrect or missed offsides calls have led to regime change in some soccer-mad countries.** The Offside Mistake (OM) could cancel a goal scored if the OM is made incorrectly, and lead to a goal scored if the OM is NOT made correctly. I’ll pause a moment so you can reread the last sentence. Baseball analogy: A correct or incorrect called strike three in the bottom of the ninth with the tying tun on third base.***An OM made during a mid-season York City versus Barnsley match probably results in the game referees being pelted with beer. But if a bad OM happened in the World Cup? Death threats. Actual murder, too, probably, but no one tracks that kind of thing.**** Cut to the chase: it’s a very important call so The World Cup Soccer people use the electronic chips and countless videos from countless angles to see where the ball was when an OM may or may not have occurred.

Two things: 1. They spent a lot of time designing balls to fly straight after being kicked or thrown, with a chip disturbing the balance.

2. How much did all this cost?

A recent Hallmark movie about a cute girl who falls for a cute billionaire had someone say at one point: “Why don’t you just build and support a non-profit hospital”?

Yes. Why not?

*The dots are called an “umlaut’ and google it for a wonderful journey into the world of “close front rounded vowels.” While you’re there, ask where the umlaut came from.

**We should have tried that in Iran instead of bombs.

***If you email me, I’ll give an analogy tailored to your sport.

****Gruesome reality: there may be someone who does. There are Putin Victim trackers, for example.

Fathers Day, with no apostrophe or apology

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Aging is interesting. Not to the young, of course, but there is a point in everyone’s life when we “suddenly” realize we are aging, if not “aged”. It is what happens after the realization we will talk about, here.

Fathers Day 2026 was an interestingly humorous celebration.

I probably learned about Fathers Day way back in The Early Years. Fathers Day was first proposed in 1909 in response to Mother’s Day.* Fathers Day was officially “recognized” in 1966 by Lyndon Johnson, and Richard Nixon made it a National Holiday in 1972. I was unaware of these dates because in 1963 I was learning how to shelter under a wooden desk if nuclear missiles were headed to upstate New York.** In 1972, I was either drunk, blazed, or courting the second or third “love of my life”. Honoring dad was the last thing on my mind. It didn’t help the holiday that my father and I had a unique relationship during my 1960’s teen years, and I wouldn’t have honored him, anyway.

It’s safe to use “aging” as an excuse for not remembering the first time Father’s Day caused my day to be about someone other than me.

But here’s the thing: the concept of unimportance has floated through my conscience many times over the last few months. It started with the China documentary where the repeated cycles of Dynasties rising and falling over hundreds of years led to millions of people—perhaps billions—dying simply because they were of the wrong family, cult, religion, or geographic area. What was important to those people? Did they have scrapbooks of family photos to pass down to survivors? Were their deaths heroic? Were there any survivors? Did they have special days for Fathers and Mothers?

And then there is politics…the rise of one party, the decline of another, and the passing of time making us forget all about The Whigs of the 1830s-1950s. And remember when Republicans were Democrats and Democrats were Republicans? And who can forget The Teapot Dome Scandal and Tammany Hall shenanigans, corruption at its finest. You remember, right?

Of course, you don’t. It doesn’t matter, now. Any of it. So what does matter?

National Geographic put out a wonderful chart detailing the rise and fall of “civilizations” through the ages. The Romans. The Incas. The Mayans, The Greeks. What do they all have in common? They’re gone, and we dig in the earth to find about as much as we can about them so we can…make the same mistakes?

It isn’t the rest of the World that forgets the lessons of the past, it is us, individually. We don’t pay attention. Even worse, we have the hubris to think we are smarter than The Romans. Even smarter than the Greeks.*** And we work harder than the Mayans. And we know better what to do with the Land than The Mohicans.****

It was Fathers Day last Sunday and the current local family met for burgers, beers, hot dogs, potato salad, and farting around the table. Of note, there were two whole barbecued chickens none of us had room for, even after passed gas made more space.

But as I sat there, watching kids, grand-kids, and talking about a great-grand-kid 1,100 miles away, the idea of how temporary life is swung into view with a thud. I’ve personally known over 50 Fathers Days, thanks to a young marriage and fatherhood. Is there any difference from the first to the last? And how many will the young people around the table experience?

I’m not sure where this essay is heading, but the Fathers Day tableau gave me something besides a sore butt from an uncushioned wooden chair: my time on this earth has been okay and would be okay, no matter what happens in the next few years. I am headed for an activity billions of people have already done, and everyone at the table would eventually do the same.

“It isn’t the destination, it’s the journey.” Please google this phrase. Ask Ai about it. They have more resources, space, and ability to explain it. For even more fun try it this way: “It isn’t the journey, it’s the destination.” And don’t believe everything you read.

*With an apostrophe. Google it. Or Ai, it.

**Don’t laugh. The air base sending B-52s to Russia was 5 miles down the road.

***We must be smarter because so many of the Greeks were homosexual and bi-sexual. How long can a civilization last with activity like that? 4,500 years?

****Google them. I dare you.

Why I Was Cranky

ness23456 Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

If you crossed my path, yesterday, I’m sorry. It was a bad day. See if any of these things happened to you…in one day.

It began with a product search on Walmart’s website. The button for “In Store” was clearly bolded, but Walmart still gave me three pages of things that “Can be here tomorrow.” Four screens later I found the product I wanted, noted the in-store location, and put one in my cart. Off I went all the way across our small town hitting every one of the 374,000 red lights in the 3.2-mile trip. One red light lasted 3 minutes. (It felt like 300 since it was early morning and NO other cars were on any of the streets.) At the store, parking was easy but its tough to figure out what door is best because one checkout is at one end of hte building and the other checkout is at the opposite end. I guessed, parked, and turned on the Google Pixel Watch to track steps.*

My item was in Aisle C3 and I came into the store at Aisle G, clearly marked with a 2-foot square sign. I turned right, saw, Aisle H, and turned around to get my steps in the other direction. First was G, again, then F, E, D, and then…aisles with no big signs saying which one they were. A nearby stocker said she worked for “a supplier” and had no idea where Aisle C3** was.

I searched on my own for a bit, then sought help from a nice-looking lady with a Walmart Vest. In response to my question she looked up, looked around, and shrugged her shoulders. I sensed she might not be any help, so I found another vested worker. She, too, looked puzzled, but looked offended by it, so she got up from her stocking*** position. She walked around and found a small, square “mini-aisle” and let out a whoop. The six-foot square “aisle” was marked with a one inch wide, 6-inch-long label hidden behind a shelf support: C1. We exchanged nods, knowing C2 and maybe C3 would be around here, someplace. She asked what I was looking for and when I showed her the picture of my product, she pointed, excitedly: “There is is!”

It was behind glass in another 6′ x 6′ mini-Aisle with no markings. I walked around the entire “aisle” looking for any feature indicating any aisle numeration. Nothing. Well, some extra steps, so…

She unlocked the glass and handed me the product as if it were a new-born baby. I bowed to her otherworldly power.

Up to the front my product and I went, my mission, my quest complete. We strode confidently past the lonely, deserted, self-checkout registers to the only open cashier. We were sixth in line. Eight other checkout lines were empty and unlit. But wait, the unlit checkout next to us had a live person, entering information and checking someone out. Yes! I started to scoot over, but three new shoppers beat me to it. One of those shoppers gloated and asked why the rest of us were standing-now-ten deep in the lighted, open line.

I’ve run out of space so to summarize: all hell broke loose. The unlit checkout lady was going on break after she finished the current customer, so now there were 16 people ready to check out and not one of them could think of a pleasant thing to say. I left my product in a candy bar display and walked out.

On the way home an expensive Cadillac in front of me saw something in the road and shifted to the left lane. A hundred feet later he put on his left blinker. Shortly after, the Caddy shifted back in the right lane, with the right turn blinker coming on as soon as he/she/them had safely completed the move. Can turn signals be past tense? Or were they warped by a Black Hole’s massive gravity?

It was a day of many more small, niggly, balls-of-shite that fertilize The Cranky Weed, but they’ll have to become famous in a future essay. And I must tell everyone about the left-hand-turner-who-did-not-turn-left-at-the-green-arrow in the busiest intersection in the city. THAT is actually a good, cranky antidote, so it will be saved for later. And even it wasn’t enough to overcome the rest of the day. Why does it have to be that way?

Or is it all a tempest in a teapot?

Cheer up, People. We aren’t going to be here much longer.

*Which I enjoy taking. I was guessing for the door and checkout that would give me the farthest walk, and the most steps.

**Is it bad my mind keeps adding “eepio” to C3?

***Which was on the floor next to the lowest shelf in the store, probably.